Long route to the quicke fixe

by Lime Chalks

  • Streaming + Download




released February 15, 2005

Written by Rob Howard, extra bits written by their respective players.

1-6: Terrible Harpy Scores EP (December 2003)
Recorded in Brunswick Street, Cheltenham.

7-12: Bleeding Tracks EP (June 2004)
Recorded in St Pauls St North, Cheltenham.

13-18: The Main Drag EP (February 2005)
Recorded in Upper Witton, Birmingham.

(c) Rob Howard 2003-2005.


tags: pop Bristol



Rob Howard Bristol, UK

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Track Name: Church Of England
Pierre Muldoone
Setting back the process
To the pace of a cracked spittoon
Sensational coolant
At the fireproof concert
Terracotta and mochaccino
Empty as their own cups
Chromium-plated serotonin
Nodular incredularities
Unsavoury horticulture
Swapping couplets with councils
Stashing doubloons

Stashing doubloons
In subterranean tombs

If you break into my car and all you find is bits of cardboard
Then you'll probably be sorely disappointed
And disappointment is all you deserve
Track Name: Killer Conversation (Killer)
Conversation that concerns only the killer
Track Name: Fiery Death
Remnants concealed in marble
Index five is the trick of trouble
Four of a kind times four bursts your bubble
The kind who needs to tread water to gargle
Barter light with the owners
King prawns and crabstick boners
Here's the latest from the dullards
Continuing their vile trade

Breville is a blackguard
Herman Melville was a braggart
Breville is such a blackguard
And the devil is so haggard
It's not even worth his while
To shift the units god told him to shift
Eating cubits like lettuce in a hutch
And the volumes of raw tofu coating

Who to call the process out?
Who to administer the clout?
Clowns are guilty of defence
Shovelling the guise of Mensa
He takes the empty page to his family
Who tell him he's written nothing down
He claims he knew all along
And it was just an April fool
Track Name: Just Brain Debris
None of this slanderous chess tactic shit
Taking on the wrong quests
Wasting your seasoned time
Tasting yourself in your prime
That big humper
Infectious rubbish wrecks
That's all it is
Just brain debris
Track Name: Join Up
“Join up,” says the mail order catalogue
Join up; tailor the sharks
Join up; distribute the affluence
Join up; spend a night in the park

“Set sail!” cries Captain Lasagne
“Set sail for the Indian seas!”
“Set sail!” screams the telephone receiver
“Set sail on your watery wheels"
Take note of the ways and the methods you'll see
Being used round the square every day
Hang on to your mocking alsatians
And flounder in torrents of orangey clay

Stop your bids
You're in too fucking deep
Off the ridge
Modify the display
Take heed from the fortunes of others
And invest your time in me

Your anecdotes are lifted from a newspaper
But so are mine so that's okay
If you could see your way clear
To doing me a bit of breakfast
I would be grateful
But none of that fancy shite
Track Name: No Clues
Wasted my time on a cruise
With a stick-thin chanteuse
I left that town with my head down
And left no clues
But now I’m rooming with a bronzed society wife
And in the evening sun
The green, green grass glows inside me

The chain pubs vie for my attention
Largely in vain
And while it's true I've got nothing to do
I'd rather stay out here in the rain
Than be surrounded by the great and good
The experts and omnipotents
'Cause in the evening sun
The green, green grass is glowing again

The tiny outposts and the rural networks
So many days and so many ways
It almost hurts
And now I’m tacked on to the end
Of a stranger's train of thought
And in the evening sun
The green, green grass glows inside him
Track Name: Settle The Bill
I know this girl
She's so kooky, she falls over comically
Even when no-one's watching
At least that's what she told me
Shoved grapes in her face
Made tapes of her face

Settle the bill

I stuck the tapes
On an Ikea shelving unit
With all the other girls
I thought I loved
And all the girls I sort of loved
The gifts I sponged
From the wives in their homes
It kept them safe in their temperate climate
It was ultimately anticlimactic

Settle the bill
Pay him in direct proportion
To the quantity and quality
Of goods and services rendered

So I spent the rest of the evening
Telling rubbish jokes about death
To uninterested scenesters
Who followed me back
They weren't especially welcome
But saying that kind of thing
Doesn't go down too well
With that kind of person
That's one thing I have learned
Track Name: Biscuits For The Hero
Unruly Scots trio cause deliberate bus scene involving taunts, damage etc. Extended turmoil prevented by uniformed officer; journey ultimately completed without further incident. “All in a day's work,” insists bashful lawman upon return to nick, ignorant of insignificance of bus malarkey. Colleague and big cheese offer muted congratulations as Scots trio known to be especially vicious, not least when in conjunction with public transport. Meanwhile at bus depot, driver returns visibly shaken by Scots confrontation. Later in break room, depot manager receives call from concerned passenger, eager to confirm driver's safety. Manager is eating box of chicken nuggets, chewing impairs hearing, and manager terminates call under mistaken impression driver was sole hero behind avoidance of catastrophe; summons driver; bashful driver says “all in a day's work”. They drink tea and discuss xmas bonus. Biscuits for the hero. Not until six years later do paths of driver and copper cross again. In brief: driver's daughter on the game, operating in family home. Driver returns, catches copper and daughter at it. Daughter covers modesty and says “all in a day's work”.
Track Name: Pigeons vs. Baguettes
The pigeons have wandered into the baguette place
And the diners have been put off their meals
The baguette proprietor has shooed all the pigeons away
But it hasn't solved the problem
Because the patrons are leaving too
So let this be a lesson to you
If you're considering setting up an open-air eatery
You know those pigeons will join you
Track Name: Whole Lot Of Luck
I took a train to sort things out
But it didn't look like being much fun
So I took some existentialist literature along with me
To make me feel numb
At first it worked a fucking treat
Within five minutes I was feeling completely detached
From the unpleasantness awaiting me
The perfect plan perfectly hatched

But then the station loomed into sight
And the effect began to wear off
I began to panic and sweat
And once again all seemed lost

But it turned out okay in the end
I got there and back in one piece
And who do I have to thank for this?
Well, whoever invented existentialism
And a whole lot of luck
Track Name: Slept
I wanted to travel
But it's so far away
I slept in the station
But it's just not the same
I wanted to go to a place I’d never been
But I seemed to be out of luck
But I know I’ll find a way

I never felt that I was eligible
I never felt that I qualified
I used to follow people just for company
My heart would break when they'd turn into their drives
I wanted to go to a place I’d never been
But I've never had the luck
But I know I’ll find a way

Scared of the station
Scared of the street
I slept in the basement
I kept myself discreet
I wanted to go to a place I’d never been
But you need much more than luck
But I know I’ll find a way
Track Name: Magnitude Of A Tertiary
I don't make charts and I don't make bones
I don't take moss and I don't take stones
And I don't answer the phone
I've been thinking hard and it's only just occurred to me
That it's true what they say about the magnitude of a tertiary

It's never nice to bury a relative
There are much worse things but it's all relative
A shit I don't give
'Cause i've been thinking so long but it only just came to me
It's true what they say about the magnitude of a tertiary

And after all the things that people have done to me
The one rule this world has given me
Is that you should always have a Plan B
I've been thinking hard and it's only just occurred to me
That it's true what they say about the magnitude of a tertiary
Track Name: Warm Heart/Hearth Warmth
When you're losing all that you possess
And it's not enough to convalesce
When your reserves are past their best
And <<magnific>> isn't ready yet
Put your hand in my mouth
And down my throat
And stroke my warm heart

Man with slowed voice conscious of existing agency
Foot-high eyes glaring down at him
Socialised with the brainless bystanders
I'm innocent and bereft

It was such a long haul, some fright, same threat
And how people react to a lens
I count this as time well spent, childishly I know
Concluding harmoniously in piped soul

Arrows route to hearth warmth and rural dwellings tonight
And repeatedly, obviously kind
Bleating of molten baritones too high
We gyrate and never slow
Track Name: The Festival Crowd
No tiny girls with spindly digits
And mousey muzzles, not for me
The pixie exterior, I'm afraid I can't see past it
Poking round the fauna and fungi
Her name is crammed with A's